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design | host how could they possibly know anyway? i had a small nervous breakdown yesterday. just a small one. you know- it was sort of like those cartoons back when they could be violent. when someone swallows a bomb. they hiccup and smoke comes out of their ears and their mouth and it was supposed to be able to kill jerry but miraculously it does not kill tom. I was waist deep in work for school and the thought that every day could be like this for the rest of the year hit me like a brick thrown with much force and expert aim. i couldn't breathe. my lungs felt too big and i couldn't breathe deep enough to fill them. i'm much too young to deal with this sort of stress... ask anyone who was here to witness me sobbing like a child. i collected myself eventually and decided to take a break. and then i wrote an analysis on The Bell Jar... a book about a young womam who freaks out and has a nervous break down. she tries to kill herself. havn't done that yet. knock on wood. the character didn't kill herself, but Silvia Plath did. the fact that i adore this book is a little disturbing. ... but that's for another day. well this has taken a turn i didn't plan on. i think my mother is worried about me, and so is Ms. Sullivan. i guess i do look rather pissed off most of the time. i just assumed that's how my face was shaped. people always ask me what the matter is and i don't know if i'm ever being honest because i don't ever know if there's anything wrong. I'm so tired. I've got a cold- and i have to go get my dayquil fix. actually it's a foodlion brand that's comparable to dayquil. i can't think. i can barely type. people say life gets better and we just have to wait this out, but i don't want to spend my whole life waiting, and how could they possibly know anyway? |