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design | host A year ago today we stood sixteen days ago marks the one year aniversary of my very first date. it seems like so much longer than that. we both killed what we had but i was the one who decided to sever the gangenous limb. despite clever euphemisms and attempts at good will it ended bitterly and i only think about it now and again. i was only thinking about it because i've had some very theraputic conversations with a friend of mine lately. and we've both determined i'm miserable and will attempt to continue the cycle. not much i can say about anything right now. just thinking is all. he always tells the truth and lays out my situations exactly as they are- but it all sounds like such idiotic bullshit from another source. i hear my own life played back to me and it sounds like i should have been able to dodge so many potholes. i need someone to ride shotgun in my head and tell me before i am about to fuck something up. loving someone i could have had. wanting the wrong someone. asking the wrong someone. not staying in that mosh pit at the hfstival. fogetting to pack my mp3 player. not telling him how i felt. is it bad that i like the memory of my first rock concert more than the memory of my first date? i didn't think so. |